Of love and pain: 3 destructive habits we can’t seem to stop indulging in

Some relationship mistakes are one-time events. You make them, learn from them and move on. Then there are the ones that are habitual: You may know about these flaws, but that doesn’t stop you from being guilty of them again, again and again.

After 3 years in a relationship, these are mine.

1. Unrealistic and unattainable expectations.


I’m still pining for that perfect fairytale romance, one that’s unblemished by ugly incidents and accidental slip-ups. I’ve admitted that a perfect romance doesn’t exist, and that I need to stop brooding over past events and cherish what I have. But I’m not sure how much of a difference that really makes for me.

2. Petty tantrums


Like many others who are used to getting their way, I get pretty irate when things aren’t how I want them to be. Often, this involves a whole lot of whining and crying, which often annoys my boyfriend or makes him feel sorry enough that he complies with all my irrational requests. Until today, I’m still working on tempering my anger with kindness.

3. Jumping to conclusions about my partner


Having known my partner for so long, I tend to assume I know all his thoughts, feelings and ideas. Therefore, I sometimes don’t really listen to him, working under the assumption that I already know what he’s going to tell me, or that I know, better than he does, how exactly he’s feeling. As a couple, we’re still working on hearing each other out completely.

Mistakes are inevitable, and in no way do they doom a relationship to failure. Of course, recurrent mistakes can be extremely taxing on your partner, and may infuriate your him or her. But as long as you both actively communicate and take steps towards preventing such mistakes, problems that previously plagued your relationship may turn into potential opportunities for your relationship to mature.

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